Upper/Lower Body Split

Ughhh…

I feel like I’m speaking heresy. But I’m “using a four-day upper/lower body split, in combination with an hour of cardio daily, to lose fat.”

It’s in quotes so people can mock me when I go back to a pure workout for real men.

Today I found out I can’t make PRs in squats and deadlifts after four days of low-carb/low-calorie dieting. Who knew?

Stats
Total Weight: 164lbs.
BF%: 17.8
Fat: 29.192lbs.
LBM: 134.808lbs.

Today was a… lower body… legs day… UGH THIS SOUNDS SO STUPID.

Squats: 1 x 5 @ 200lbs.
Deadlifts: 1 x 2 @ 170lbs. (failed to lift 205lbs workset)
Hack Squat: 1 x 5 @ 45lbs. (first time doing this)
Leg Curl: 1 x 5 @ 75lbs. (making up for FAILURE deadlifts, only not really, surprisingly painful)

I did five minutes on a treadmill before I remembered the walk I have to do tomorrow. Love ya Sarah!

Some more rage: I’ve lost less than a pound of fat per month for the last three months.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Father?

I’m going to find out if I’m a dad on Wednesday.

We talked about this on the phone.

L- You weren’t supposed to know yet! I hate myself right now because it came out.
E- When did it start?
L- 5 days ago.
E- Why hides? I’m not mad!
L- THEY WILL THROW YOU IN JAIL ERIC! I know my parents and I won’t let it happen. I won’t let them.
E- I guess it’s good you didn’t tell you parents you were raped. Could always blame him?
L- …I won’t tell them that either :’(
E- So you’re going to Virgin Mary the baby? You don’t have any say what happens to me if you say it’s mine, and it is.
L- I will fight for you by I doubt they would listen.
E- Guess I’m moving to France, lol.
L- Do what you have to in order to escape… But wait until I know for sure. DAMN IT!!!
E- So when you find out, then you’re telling it’s mine too, correct?
L- They would guess, I wouldn’t have to say. But if they don’t get it I will tell them.
E- …Okay.
L- This would ruin your life I am so sorry.
E- Alright hun, calm down.
L- Eric… I am calm… If I wasn’t this whole household would be in hell and I wouldn’t be talking to you. It’s just me and a dark room.
E- Nevermind. You just don’t have to be so apologetic though. I won’t run, they’ll be mad at me, FINE, but I have NO interest in cowardice.
L- I WONT HAVE IT ERIC IF I AM PREGNANT I DONT CARE I WILL FIND A WAY TO ABORT!!!
E- Excuse me?
L- I won’t lose you.
E- You’re not going to abort your kid. That is a monstrous idea. What the HELL is wrong with you?
L- You would be labeled pedophile or whatever and you would be lucky if you make it out of jail because of that word… That will kill me.
E- It’s a broken law and six months. I can handle that. I don’t know that I could handle doing that for a murderer, though.
L- Fine I won’t abort but I will not have you in jail… That’s not what I want for you.
E- Yeah, the felony will probably destroy my acting career. But jail won’t do anything to me but waste my time. You’ll be 18 when I get out, though.
L- Gotta say it feels good to be able to cry…
E- Yeah, it does…
L- You’re not crying are you?
E- Heh… I have to go. I love you.
L- …I love you too. You know you will be a fantastic father.
E- I’ll try.
L- Well now that my eyes are begging to shut… I must rest. Good night, I love you.
E- I love you two.

Popularity: 16% [?]

captin amurica

ok guys

i no ppl tink jus cuz he dont have ‘real powers” or ba mans car or belt dat he only does thro his sled but no

he is AMURICA

how moare powr do u need?

Popularity: 5% [?]

geen antern

hi so um i wach dis sho n i wuz liek:

omg wer is geen antern!?

so i mad him n i hoep he is on sho soon :)

geen antern is coprite to dc comcs :)

Popularity: 5% [?]

Full-Belly Workouts

I think I should stop having a bowl of oatmeal before I workout. It’s fucking up my bodyfat readings. Not to say I’m NOT a lardass, but the meter is essentially laughing at me as hard as I was laughed at in middle school. It saddens me.

10/8/09
Deadlift – 1 x 1 @ 195lbs. (left hand under, after failing a right-under of 205lbs.)
Bench – 1 x 4 @ 95lbs.

So next workout I bump up the Deadlift and Bench stays the same.

BW: 171lbs.
Fat%: 19.3lbs. (33lbs.)

10/14/09
Squat – 1 x 5 @ 195lbs.
Press – 1 x 2 @ 70lbs. (FUCK!)
HamChin – 1 x 5 @ 55lbs. offset (114lbs lifted; since I’m the same weight I was the last time I attempted this lift, I got the final rep I wanted, yay!)

Weight: 169lbs.
Fat%: 22.8% (38.5lbs)

See, this is why I shouldn’t eat a big bowl of oats before a workout. Not only when I breathe deep do my lungs expand fully, push down my organs, and make me feel like I should shit right there in the squat rack, but it bumps my bodyfat up too! Waah! I don’t really know how to do the math for this! So I gained nearly six pounds of fat and lost… seven and a half pounds of muscle. What the fuck? /sarcasm

At any rate, I need to get my diet in order. I think I’m going to change to something a little more staggered, where the majority of my calories are eaten on training days. I know that retained water artificially inflates my bodyfat “score” but I’m not going to be doing any bizarre glyco-deplete bullshit until at least a month from now.

Invoking Katch-McArdle: 370 + (21.6 x 58.725) = 1638

Multiplied by an activity factor of 1.375 leads me to 2252 calories for daily maintenance.  Suddenly the weight gain doesn’t seem so implausible =\

Anyway, I’m going to be eating at maintenance on training days ONLY, and dropping to 30% of that on days I don’t train. As much as I hate to diet by percent, I’m going to just for the sake of daily adjustments/sanity. Fat/carbs/protein; 20/50/30.

Using today as an example: I eat as close to 2252 calories as I can without going over and with getting at least 169g protein.

Tomorrow, I’ll assume nothing has changed, and use “yesterday” values: 2252 – 30% = 1576, with 118g protein and 197g carbs.

And then Friday I go to the gym again, so I’ll re-weigh and re-measure accordingly. I’m going to try to go in without a carb meal (maybe just some eggs or a proshake or something), it won’t fully deplete me or anything but I hope to get a more accurate reading nonetheless. Then I’ll use that to calculate for that day, which will be hard to manage if I don’t get to my dad’s house for fooding up, and then for the low days following all the way to Monday.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Training Update

I’ve been forgetting to update the blog, but I haven’t been forgetting to workout. Because I’m not gay.

9/25/09
Squat: 1 x 3 @ 170lbs.
Press 1 x 5 @ 65lbs.
HamChin: 1 x 5 @ 60lbs. offset (I don’t know how much I weighed this day, scale was DISAPPEAR)

10/2/09 – First Workout @ L.A. Fitness
Squat: 3 x 5 @ 185lbs. (almost failed the very last rep, BUT I DIDN’T)
Bench: 2 x 5 @ 80lbs. (also did 1×1@85, before these two sets)
Deadlift: 3 x 1 @ 185lbs. (need chalk, need big socks, form, etc.)

Weight: 168lbs.
Bodyfat: 17.4%

10/6/09
Squat: 1 x 4 @ 195lbs. (failed my 5th rep, looks like another week until 200, FUCK!)
Press: 1 x 2 @ 70lbs. (this exercise: I really miss having a mirror to check form it; felt like my abs were cleaning my pelvis)
HamChin: 1 x 4 @ 55lbs. offset (I almost want to count the 5th rep, I just SO SLIGHTLY missed it, but again: Not a faggot.)

Weight: 169lbs.
Bodyfat: 20.1% – disregarded; carb-loaded

HIGHLIGHTS

Gym Salesman “This is the squat machine–”
Me “Machine? No.”
GS “I know you said you don’t like machines, but in case you injure yourself–”
Me “I’ll wait on it and go back to the rack when I’m healed.”
GS “Okay, but when you squat, it puts pressure on your knees?”
Me “…Yes. [suspicious]”
GS “Right, when you squat down and your knee goes past your foot, you put tremendous pressure on your knee. This machine allows you to squat without that pressure, so you can keep squatting when your knees are sore.”
Me “I just squat with proper form and avoid this issue entirely.”

GS “So today’s Friday and you’re doing squats, so you probably aren’t benching today, but here are where the benches ARE.”
Me “So I see… what makes you think I’m not benching today?” (refer to my workout schedule above)
GS “A lot of people have their ‘chest day’ on Monday.”
Me “Oh, right. I forgot about that…”
GS “When’s your chest day?”
Me “The day I work my chest.”
GS “…”

So next to me, this black curlmonkey starts doing his barbell curls in the other squat rack. Fine, whatever, I only need one squat rack until I’m superhuman so I just rest it up while I watch him do push-curls (like a push press, only with curling… that uh.. sort of… “put your hips and back and drop your head into your shoulder blades like you’re about to cum” way of curling.) I look at his notebook and notice that this Friday, Mr. Monkey is hitting his biceps from all angles.

Monkey “You gots a notebook too?”
Me “A-yup.”
Monkey “Dats cool bro, you gotta keep track yo shit.”
Me “Shore do.”
Monkey “I do so many sometimes I fergit.”
Me “So many what?”
Monkey “Uh [checks notebook] …curls.”

Golden.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Thinking Speed: Day 3

She's like a possessed demonlady or something

So I hear I might be in the trailer.

Popularity: 16% [?]