Turtle Workout

You know, I watch one video on youtube where a dumbass rounds his back during deadlifts and I unconsciously do it too. (Granted, it’s upper back, so there are probably powerlifters out there jerking off to him doing that, but I feel bad because I called him on it.)

I’m going to have to retest my 5RM with really strict form next. I have no idea how long I’ve been fucking this up. Furthermore, next week I’m starting a new routine. Still low volume, but it’s going to compensate for my tendency to miss the second workout of the week while still making a second workout worthwhile. I think.

Deadlift

1. 80lbs. x 5
2. 80lbs. x 5
3. 120lbs. x 3
4. 170lbs. x 2
5. 205lbs. x 1 ~ I was paying a lot more attention to my form than I might ordinarily.  I didn’t like what was happening. I decided to do singles.  As with all heaviest sets on DL, mixed grip. Left hand over here.
6. 205lbs. x 1 ~ MUCH BETTER. Left hand over.
7. 205lbs. x 1 ~ Strictly GOOD. Distracted like a motherfucker on descent though, some ginger doofus felt like trying on my glasses because I left them on the windowsill.  I hate that.
8. 205lbs. x 1 ~ Not bad. Could have done better I think, but not disastrous.
9. 185lbs. x 3 ~ This is where my back started rounding. At this point I just wanted to be done with deadlifts. A trainer came over and bro-viced me on my form. I WAS TURTLAN GUISE! (Still, I’m glad he said something to confirm my suspicions that I’m a fuckup. I honestly need that.)

Lat Pulldown

1. 45lbs. x 5
2. 45lbs. x 5
3. 55lbs. x 5
4. 70lbs. x 3
5. 85lbs. x 2
6. 100lbs. x 5 (FUCK YEAH!)
7. 95lbs. x 4

I skipped Horizontal Rows. I’ll hit my mid back from now on by, you know, doing deadlifts correctly. Fuck my life.

Well, only kind of. Today I have a date! So after she texts me that she’s on the bus over (it’s a long ride, poor gal :( ) I resolve to do some ab work before I take a shower. Somehow, doing less than three exercises in a workout seems lazy to me. I dunno. I’m sure three exercises seems lazy to everyone else in the world except maybe Starting Strength folks. Though I bet SSfolks would scoff at my dedicated ab work, so, I have no friends.

Rectus abdominis = blitzed still. I felt like I would have torn something if I tried to do any more than a token amount of effort with it. So, obliques. I asked my DLbro to show me some oblique exercises (mentally: NO SIDE BENDS.) So he showed me how to do bodyweight side bends on the thing I probably maybe would have done back extensions in a long time ago. I stepped on it and it wobbled, so I took his other advice “twist at the waist with some resistance. Up to down, down to up, straight across, whatever.” He didn’t demonstrate, but it was essentially what I was hoping for.

I shared the pulleys with this porky fellow who was very polite about taking turns, and I tried to work with his rest intervals. Whenever he’d rest, I’d work, and vice versa. He was doing crossovers though. We didn’t actually say anything to each other. That’s how I know he’s polite.

Poorly Executed Ignorant Oblique Twists, Shoulder to Hip

1. 30lbs. x 7
2. 40lbs. x 5
3. 40lbs. x 5
4. 40lbs. x 5

All listed are for both sides. I now know all the leg bending I’m supposed to do and what the range of motion should look like, but at the time I was doing essentially the kind of twists I would do with no weight: no bend in the arms, turn along 180degrees, and go back. I did a lot slower and more controlled than I would trying to pop my back, but it definitely felt it where I’m supposed to feel it. So I’m going to increase the weight ten pounds (or whatever the other pulley stack has, if I can do a smaller jump I will) next session.

Then I took a shower and headed out for a day date.

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