Inventing an Abstraction

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I simply will not be sexy by the end of May. I’ve been dicking around too much and trying to achieve that goal at this point is one that’s going to end in wretched skinny-fatness rather than glory and sky-fisting. So I am recalibrating my fat loss goal to conclude on July 18th, two weeks prior to August. Those two weeks will then be used as my shift into maintenance, and I will thusly be DONE dieting in August. I want to be done not only by being at my target weight but also by being metabolically removed from a catabolic state.

Why? Her name starts with A.

We’re not dating, but I will ask her out.

My previous relationships have been plagued by my obvious obsession with myself. I don’t want to eliminate this, but it needs to be toned down. She deserves the Bear’s share of my attention. I don’t want her going anywhere else because I’m not there for her. It is absurd that I have neglected this consideration until now. I spend far too much time thinking about my diet and training to carry on a proper relationship with anyone but myself, it seems.

So the affair ends in August. I will be divorcing myself so that I might attend to my mistress.

Having been at this for so long, it is embarrassing that I’m not already where I need to be. I want to ESTABLISH a change within and of myself to free myself of the worry and concern. She may think my methods are unhealthy, but I think the MINDSET leading to them is what is destructive. So let’s knock it out, and never think about it again.

[This is such an endearing film, I wanted to post the scene from the film but I really wanted the whole song.]

FROM: April 12, 2010
TO: July 18, 2010

This is 14 weeks.

Using last week’s bodyfat reading (which is probably slightly inaccurate but good enough for my purposes here) I have 33lbs. of fat and 129lbs. of lean mass, totally 162lbs. I’ve already been following my “what I’m going to do” since that day, so I know I can stick to it.

If I were to maintain my lean mass to the point where it composed 91% of my body (said differently: 9% body fat) my total weight would then be 141lbs rounded down. That’s 14 weeks to lose 21 pounds, or 1.5lbs. per week if I somehow manage this linearly.

Everything I’m doing for this is pretty simple. I’m fasting until dinner every day, and training once or twice a week. I am going to train lat pulldown and incline press each workout, with the third exercise rotating through deadlifts, crunches, and lateral raises. I will also be biking and walking whenever the opportunity arises, which should be rather frequently given the summer months and my inability to drive.

I’m supplementing yohimbine HCL (15mg) daily, and I won’t be dieting low enough for this dosage to change. Additionally, based upon time, I will supplement ephedrine. Four hours after yohimbine but never after 6PM. I eat dinner at 8PM or thereabout. 200mg caffeine with either supplement.

I also take a general multivitamin and 6g fish oil daily, but I’m not too consistent about when I do them and I’m not too worried about it, either.

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