You know when you look back at when you stopped doing something, and blame whatever it was around that time that influenced you to stop, as the reason you’re presently unsuccessful in whatever you do?
Been feeling that a lot lately.
Anyway, I did a lot of walking this week. More than I am metabolically adapted to, anyway, which I suppose is… any at all… but then it was quite a bit more than that. I believe I have at least three hours of “walking a little faster than what’s comfortable, because that’s more comfortable than being out in this temperature.” I also got quite a bit of oblique work, sliding around on the fuck-ice. I slid down two concrete blocks (squares-in-the-sidewalk.)
As I stepped out of that slide, I very nearly did a Home Alone style fall-on-ass. But I reversed it halfway and torqued the shit out of my right oblique and left shoulder (left arm carrying a shopping bag with a two-liter diet cola in it.) Then the streetlight came on overhead, I got a cheery “fuck yeah bro!” from a gas station across the street, and went back to my Oma’s in a sorely optimistic mood.
Sadly, all this walking and especially this slippery episode led to a weak workout. One of less reps and skipped oblique work.
I mean, my obliques are an isolation exercise, and if I skip them then only that part doesn’t get worked. But only my left shoulder hurt and I still needed to get some pressing in for my chest; unfortunately it’s a compound movement. That means shoulders are along for the ride. It sucked because I could have definitely squeezed out reps to at LEAST MATCH my previous workout, but that shoulder probably would have exploded, and I’m not training to failure anyway.
Even though I haven’t been counting my calories (except on Monday,) I’m pretty sure I’ve been eating near-maintenance. Or just a little bit above what my body is telling me I need. I’m going to fast throughout Sunday and hope for the best. Hopefully by Monday I’ll be recuperated in whatever relevant dimensions and get in a solid depletion-style workout.
These days kids are making youtube playlists. Or I do. But I’m an ADULT.
So whatever. The point is I’ve got a pretty pitiful love life and nobody to actually create an entire playlist for. I don’t even really listen to enough music nor pay attention to the subtleties of personality (SITE NAME, THANK YOU) to do that kind of shit.
Rather, I thought back, waaay back about half of my life ago, and tried to associate a song to someone I either dated or should have dated. The ‘should have dated’ list is a lot shorter than what I was expecting it to be, for the key reasons that: I don’t remember people who I ultimately don’t care about, and even if I do remember them and think I should have dated them, I probably didn’t hang around them enough to associate a song.
And if I did manage to associate a song, well, that would mean they’re in the mix.
Love. I would ban the word from the vocabulary. Such imprecision. Love, which love, what love? Sentiment, fantasy, longing, lust? Obsession, devouring need? Perhaps the only love that is accurate without qualification is the love of a very young child. Afterward, she too becomes a person. -White Oleander
Perhaps I’m just taking it all a little too personally.
L- You weren’t supposed to know yet! I hate myself right now because it came out.
E- When did it start?
L- 5 days ago.
E- Why hides? I’m not mad!
L- THEY WILL THROW YOU IN JAIL ERIC! I know my parents and I won’t let it happen. I won’t let them.
E- I guess it’s good you didn’t tell you parents you were raped. Could always blame him?
L- …I won’t tell them that either :’(
E- So you’re going to Virgin Mary the baby? You don’t have any say what happens to me if you say it’s mine, and it is.
L- I will fight for you by I doubt they would listen.
E- Guess I’m moving to France, lol.
L- Do what you have to in order to escape… But wait until I know for sure. DAMN IT!!!
E- So when you find out, then you’re telling it’s mine too, correct?
L- They would guess, I wouldn’t have to say. But if they don’t get it I will tell them.
E- …Okay.
L- This would ruin your life I am so sorry.
E- Alright hun, calm down.
L- Eric… I am calm… If I wasn’t this whole household would be in hell and I wouldn’t be talking to you. It’s just me and a dark room.
E- Nevermind. You just don’t have to be so apologetic though. I won’t run, they’ll be mad at me, FINE, but I have NO interest in cowardice.
L- I WONT HAVE IT ERIC IF I AM PREGNANT I DONT CARE I WILL FIND A WAY TO ABORT!!!
E- Excuse me?
L- I won’t lose you.
E- You’re not going to abort your kid. That is a monstrous idea. What the HELL is wrong with you?
L- You would be labeled pedophile or whatever and you would be lucky if you make it out of jail because of that word… That will kill me.
E- It’s a broken law and six months. I can handle that. I don’t know that I could handle doing that for a murderer, though.
L- Fine I won’t abort but I will not have you in jail… That’s not what I want for you.
E- Yeah, the felony will probably destroy my acting career. But jail won’t do anything to me but waste my time. You’ll be 18 when I get out, though.
L- Gotta say it feels good to be able to cry…
E- Yeah, it does…
L- You’re not crying are you?
E- Heh… I have to go. I love you.
L- …I love you too. You know you will be a fantastic father.
E- I’ll try.
L- Well now that my eyes are begging to shut… I must rest. Good night, I love you.
E- I love you two.
I just saw her again for the first time in over a year when I was at Walgreens a few hours ago.
She didn’t even notice it was me. I walked right past her… stopped… amd went down the other cashier aisle thing to do my double-take. I considered just walking away from it but, I hadn’t seen her for SO long, and I love her to pieces. She seemed genuinely happy to see me, if a little pissed that I’d been texting her galpal and not her (LEGITIMATE REASON BEING: I didn’t have Swimchick’s number on my new phone, and my old phone DIED.)
Hopefully we’ll be talking more in the future, especially since I get to be in Wisconsin during Halloween, IN THE CORRECT TOWN, and I owe her some dress-upz.
I cannot believe how happy that made me.
Just…
(click the pic to make the day even brighter)
…made my whole day awesome. Right there. She looks fantastic, and her abs are way better than mine.
Me “You’re infectiously adorable!”
Red “And you are deliciously irresistible!”
Me “You love zombie, you!”
Red “I thought you were the zombie and I was a ghost!”
Me “A ghost wouldn’t know I’m delicious…”
Red “Ah, so I guess I am a zombie, cause I know you are delicious!”
Me “And I’m a zombie, because you’re infectious!”
