The Daily Plate

[Warning: The below is one of those STATEMENT type posts. I try to only write posts for things that I HAVE ALREADY DONE rather than WISHAN, AN HOPEN. This post is an example of the latter/fail.]

I made this for deviantArt when I was a teenager.

You know, it’s really time to stop fucking around.

My diet is crap.

I’m so carb-loaded right now it hurts. Seriously. Nevermind the disgusting bloated look that comes from moderate constipation and carb-load powers combined. My muscles themselves feel overstuffed.

I might managed to knock out a set of chins at LBM tomorrow, lol.

I really want to do a depletion workout tomorrow to prep for tat-support tomorrow (hangings with the gal frand y’know.) But I’m also fuck-awesomely strong right now and I’d like to abuse it before I get into some kind of protein-sparing modified fast of insanity.

Which I full intend to do, starting Thursday, just in case she decides to make a pizza while I’m over. That happened last time. I feel like such a douchebag refusing to eat free pizza, so, JUST IN CASE, I’m saving the crash diet for Thursday.

What I’m probably going to do is the strength workout, rest a bit, depletion workout with lessened/eliminated volume on the body parts already hit.

WHICH REMINDS ME: I’m dropping deadlifts.

Yeah that’s right. I said it. (Please kill me.)

I just know that as soon as I deplete I’m going to be weaker than all hell and I just will not have the form necessary to feel good about myself deadlifting. Wavering deadlift performance has been the single most destructive factor to my dieting efforts, I’m sad to report. It’s my favorite life, but I just cannot be risking my back (literally) deciding between dieting and RAWR. RAWR always wins, but it’s not getting me any closer to my goals other than keeping my posture sexy.

My back is still a little sore from fucking up that ONE REP not too long ago. I was sick, granted, but that’s pretty much how glycogen depletion feels to me. Fucking sick.

Starting today, though, I’m back to legitimately recording my intake. I’ve been writing it down on paper for a long time since I’ve abandoned Windows (and by extension, FitDay) but I’ve not been tracking numbers and is really just a testament to how lax I can really be. I KNOW I’ve been eating to much, no foggy iffy memory about it. I’m fucking up, I’m not losing fat, and I’m only marginally stronger. This amounts to FAIL.

So I’ve signed up at the daily plate.

Today I don’t really care. I’m keeping myself loaded so tomorrow I can put up the biggest numbers on my three most important lifts to me (Pulldown, Incline Press, Lateral Raise) and then keep them there as I lose my artificial benefit. As much as I love carbs, this bloat is disgusting. I feel like a panda. I’m 165-170lbs. right now and I’m really hoping that a lot of that is water weight.

But I’m not retarded, either.

So I’m going to spend two days making sure I can get my calories in order, and then from Thursday on begin stripping carbs. Quicker the better, but I’m hoping by Monday of next week to be on a PSMF cycle and jogging my way to some relief from pandabelly.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Thanksgiving Damage

So. Let’s see the damage Thanksgiving did.

Weight: 159lbs. – Pretty smoothed out from the carby fare lately.

I’m not really liking how much less I’m eating on would-be maintenance days. I’m losing weight too quickly. On maintenance days I don’t really care too much about my macronutrient split, but on fasting days I’m thinking of bumping up the amount of protein I’m having.

Today I’ve officially stalled on deadlifts, misloaded my chin assists, and regressed on my rows. The weights I’ve lifted today are what I am considering my functional ability. I will not be expecting these numbers to go up much, if at all, through the rest of the diet.

If they go backward, though, then I’ll know I’m doing something wrong and I will be officially risking lean mass. Which honestly, I don’t care about, but I want to maintain STRENGTH and drop FAT.

Here are today’s numbers:
Deadlift

1. 200lbs. x 2
2. 180lbs x 3
3. 160lbs x 5 (the only improvement this workout)

Chin Assist

1. 60lbs. x 6 (felt suspiciously easy, checked the stack, was supposed to load 50lbs.)
2. 40lbs. x 1 (just pissed off because I screwed up my reverse pyramid, so I overcompensated by the same amount I undershot. Surprisingly good form despite not being able to do another one.)

Horizontal Rows
3×5 @ 55lbs. – This one irritated me the most. Down from 85lbs. I couldn’t do 70lbs. either. I maybe could have, barely, but I’m trying to do this exercise explosively so I had to bump it down another plate. Saddens me.

A PROPS, though, go to my new friend Jake. He is the first person to use the squat rack next to me for something that was not only NOT curls, but POWER CLEANS! I shook his hand and told him to continue the good work.

Popularity: 17% [?]

Training Update

I’ve been forgetting to update the blog, but I haven’t been forgetting to workout. Because I’m not gay.

9/25/09
Squat: 1 x 3 @ 170lbs.
Press 1 x 5 @ 65lbs.
HamChin: 1 x 5 @ 60lbs. offset (I don’t know how much I weighed this day, scale was DISAPPEAR)

10/2/09 – First Workout @ L.A. Fitness
Squat: 3 x 5 @ 185lbs. (almost failed the very last rep, BUT I DIDN’T)
Bench: 2 x 5 @ 80lbs. (also did 1×1@85, before these two sets)
Deadlift: 3 x 1 @ 185lbs. (need chalk, need big socks, form, etc.)

Weight: 168lbs.
Bodyfat: 17.4%

10/6/09
Squat: 1 x 4 @ 195lbs. (failed my 5th rep, looks like another week until 200, FUCK!)
Press: 1 x 2 @ 70lbs. (this exercise: I really miss having a mirror to check form it; felt like my abs were cleaning my pelvis)
HamChin: 1 x 4 @ 55lbs. offset (I almost want to count the 5th rep, I just SO SLIGHTLY missed it, but again: Not a faggot.)

Weight: 169lbs.
Bodyfat: 20.1% – disregarded; carb-loaded

HIGHLIGHTS

Gym Salesman “This is the squat machine–”
Me “Machine? No.”
GS “I know you said you don’t like machines, but in case you injure yourself–”
Me “I’ll wait on it and go back to the rack when I’m healed.”
GS “Okay, but when you squat, it puts pressure on your knees?”
Me “…Yes. [suspicious]”
GS “Right, when you squat down and your knee goes past your foot, you put tremendous pressure on your knee. This machine allows you to squat without that pressure, so you can keep squatting when your knees are sore.”
Me “I just squat with proper form and avoid this issue entirely.”

GS “So today’s Friday and you’re doing squats, so you probably aren’t benching today, but here are where the benches ARE.”
Me “So I see… what makes you think I’m not benching today?” (refer to my workout schedule above)
GS “A lot of people have their ‘chest day’ on Monday.”
Me “Oh, right. I forgot about that…”
GS “When’s your chest day?”
Me “The day I work my chest.”
GS “…”

So next to me, this black curlmonkey starts doing his barbell curls in the other squat rack. Fine, whatever, I only need one squat rack until I’m superhuman so I just rest it up while I watch him do push-curls (like a push press, only with curling… that uh.. sort of… “put your hips and back and drop your head into your shoulder blades like you’re about to cum” way of curling.) I look at his notebook and notice that this Friday, Mr. Monkey is hitting his biceps from all angles.

Monkey “You gots a notebook too?”
Me “A-yup.”
Monkey “Dats cool bro, you gotta keep track yo shit.”
Me “Shore do.”
Monkey “I do so many sometimes I fergit.”
Me “So many what?”
Monkey “Uh [checks notebook] …curls.”

Golden.

Popularity: 11% [?]

Birthday Goal

Goal Statement: By my 20th birthday I will have visible abs.

Start: July 27th, 2009
Deadline: January 27th, 2010

Measurements

• Height: 5′ 9″
• Weight: 163.8lbs.
• Upper Arms (mid-bicep): 10.5″ (both arms)
• Waist: 33.5″; 34″; 35.75″ (two inches above; at; and two inches below navel)
• Hips: 38.75″
• Thighs: 24.5″; 25″ (right/left, measured directly below buttocks)
• Body Fat Percentage: 19.5%

Specifics

• 1400-1500 calories per day
• 6 meals per day
  1. Breakfast (320 calories): Bagel with slice of lowfat cheese
  2. Snack (140 calories): Protein shake
  3. Lunch (300 calories): Turkey on whole wheat with light mayo
  4. Snack (140 calories): Another protein shake
  5. Dinner (300 calories): Microwaveable meal
  6. Snack (180 calories): Protein bar
• Drink 1 to 2 gallons of ice-cold water per day
• Workouts are brief and intense, 1 set of 8-12 for the following exercises:
  1. Crunch
  2. Leg Curl
  3. Leg Extension
  4. Palms-up Pulldown
  5. Bench Press
  6. Oblique Crunch

Popularity: 6% [?]