B Variant

My back is still a little tingly-tender from deadlifts, so I skipped the squats I was initially planning to front-load. I considered doing leg presses or calf raises, but when I got to cardio I was much relieved to have not done any of those three. I thought my back was going to be irritated by the rows, but I must have actually activated the correct muscles for once, because no such problem was had.

B Workout

START: 11AM
Weight: 167lbs.

Flat Bench

1. 45lbs. x 5
2. 45 x 5
3. 50 x 5
4. 70 x 3
5. 90 x 2
6. 100 x 8 (+)
7. 90 x 9 (+)
8. 80 x 10 (+)

The (+) is going to be my shorthand that these sets need to be increased next workout. The rep range, respectively, for these sets are: 5-8; 6-9; 7-10

Row

1. 45lbs. x 5
2. 45 x 5
3. 60 x 5
4. 75 x 3
5. 105 x 2
6. 120 x 8 (+)
7. 105 x 9 (+)
8. 90 x 10 (+)

Same rep set-up as the bench. I used a different sort of handle today: close-grip, smooth handles. Black. Didn’t agitate my calluses any, will be using it again.

Lateral Raise

1. 35lbs. x 5
2. 45 x 3
3. 55 x 2
4. 65 x 10 (+)
5. 55 x 11 (+)
6. 50 x 12 (+)

Rep set-up: 8-10; 9-11; 10-12

STOP: 1:30PM
Weight: 173.5lbs.

Cardio

1. Treadmill warm-up: 5 minutes of 2.0 mph/ 2.0 incline for the first two minutes, then 3.0 for the rest.
2. Treadmill intervals: 1′ walk / 1′ run, so that I got off the treadmill immediately after a run. 3.0 incline.
   1. x2 @ 2.0mph/6.0mph
   2. x3 @ 2.0mph/4.0mph
3. 6 minute rest in the locker room.
4. Stationary cycle: 5.52 miles in 37 minutes

Notes:

• I want to replace at least one of the 4.0mph runs with a 6.0, until they’re all 2.0/6.0mph. Then I’ll work on increasing the sprinting speed.
• The slow-and-steady cycling at the end will be increased in terms of duration only.
  • I don’t really have any idea as to how much to increase cardio duration by. I’m tentatively just saying “anything that is more, even just one minute.”
  • Another idea is mileage: I’d like to log 42 miles a week, as in real life I tend to have gone distances of about 20 miles and back.

Diet

Stuff I have to remember:

Maintenance Intake

At Body Weight 169lbs. = 2800kcal.

I’d really like my weigh-ins to be three consecutive days, but that probably isn’t going to happen.

I’m going to recalculate maintenance (for proper deficit purposes) weekly.

I would like to achieve a 1000kcal deficit on rest days, training days are allowed to be at maintenance/slightly over.

Fasting Period

Fast starts: 8-10PM
Feeding begins: 1PM on rest days; as soon as I can after training otherwise.

Protein Multiplier

• Lean Body Mass x 0.9 = Protein on rest days
• LBM x 1.1 = Protein on cardio-only days (not sure if I’m going to have these or not, yet)
• LBM x 1.5 = Protein on weight-training days (if cardio is done after weight training, still use this number)

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Happy Princess (P1C2B2)

Went to the gym yesterday morning, finally having a dollar for the soda machine.

Fucker was shut off. Logic’d my way into walking across the parking structure under the assumption that, hey, they probably have these for fuckers heading to work. Bam. There it is.

Dollar was too crinkly. I smooth it several times before hoping I have a dollar in my wallet. I try THAT dollar, twice, before the machine lolquits at me (the dollar-accepting thing turns off if you try too many times to prevent sodahax.)

Top floor of parking structure is the one that leads to my gym. I give up my sodaquest and take this loop-way of getting to the gym. There’s one soda machine on this leg of the journey, and it too is shut down.

I make my way in, put my bag on a chair, and dig out my keys (login badge thing is on it) front desk lady is ALWAYS unfailingly nice to me. She asks me how I’m doing and I lie blatantly. She says she’s doing good too.

In the locker room. I’m already wearing gym clothes so I simply deposit my bag. I get some nail clippers out, clipping nails at a counter. I finish, I hear my phone, I go back to the locker. Check messages, okay whatever, back to the counter…

WHEN SUDDENLY, A DOUCHE APPEARS:

D- “Are you going to pick those up?”
Me- “…Why, do you need a snack?”
D- “That’s disgusting.”
Me- “Don’t judge me by what YOU put in YOUR mouth.”
Another guy comes into the locker room, puts a shaker-bottle thing on the counter, goes to his locker.
D- “Don’t use that counter, this kid put his nails all over it.”
Me- “Nevermind that bro, this old fart leaves cocks in his mouth and forgets to swallow.” I sweep the nails into a trash bin that’s put under the counter FOR THIS REASON “Are we happy, princess?”

I got shitty looks from him for the next hour or two I was in the gym.

Day was significantly improved.

Workout B2 for Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Romanian Deadlift

1. 45lbs x 5
2. 70 x 3
3. 90 x 2
4. 115 x 3
5. 110 x 3
6. 105 x 3

5% drops from top set because I didn’t want to increase reps from set to set. Took a note that I was stepping forward to rack the weight with my left foot.

Pulldown

1. 40lbs x 5
2. 55 x 3
3. 75 x 2
4. 95 x 4
5. 85 x 5
6. 75 x 6

10% drops, since this exercise is a 4-6 rep range anyway.

Lateral Raise Machine

1. 30lbs x 5
2. 45 x 3
3. 60 x 2
4. 75 x 4
5. 65 x 5
6. 55 x 6

10% drops, which are HUGE here since I round up. It’s supposed to be a back-off day.

Torso Rotation Machine

1. 30lbs x 5
2. 45 x 3
3. 60 x 2
4. 75 x 4
5. 65 x 7
6. 55 x 10

I actually had this load setup for doing weighted crunches, but I felt myself in a twisty mood. My obliques haven’t been worked lately and I was surprised that I just-as-barely got through them without altering the weights. 15% drops are harder to manage with such low weights. I piled on reps which, in retrospect, is an ass-backwards way of tackling that problem.

Cardio: 20 minutes, 3 incline/ 3.3mph; Heart Rate @ 135bpm @ finish. The ceiling is 150bpm so I can keep increasing the speed… whenever I manage 40 minutes.

Weight: 162lbs.

I was going to test body composition by the personal trainer dwarf snatched up the handzapper. So I’m going to save that for Monday.

Also Monday: I will be deciding how I’m going to progress with this diet. It’s been two cycles, so roughly four weeks. Typically I see folks have their diet phases lasting anywhere from 4-8 weeks unless they’re horrifyingly fatassed. I’m going to fast tomorrow and do some carb-depletion stuff over the weekend to try and dry-out before measuring on Monday.

Body Fat Percentage Results

• 13%+: I’m just going to continue the diet for another cycle. No-prob-bro.
• 11 – 13%: Diet break for one training cycle, then continue the diet and training as I have been.
• <11%: Diet break for one training cycle, then I’m going change everything around to resemble Ultimate Diet 2.

I’ll probably round the results down if I have a convincing decimal or something, but that’s generally where my mind’s at.

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The Daily Plate

[Warning: The below is one of those STATEMENT type posts. I try to only write posts for things that I HAVE ALREADY DONE rather than WISHAN, AN HOPEN. This post is an example of the latter/fail.]

I made this for deviantArt when I was a teenager.

You know, it’s really time to stop fucking around.

My diet is crap.

I’m so carb-loaded right now it hurts. Seriously. Nevermind the disgusting bloated look that comes from moderate constipation and carb-load powers combined. My muscles themselves feel overstuffed.

I might managed to knock out a set of chins at LBM tomorrow, lol.

I really want to do a depletion workout tomorrow to prep for tat-support tomorrow (hangings with the gal frand y’know.) But I’m also fuck-awesomely strong right now and I’d like to abuse it before I get into some kind of protein-sparing modified fast of insanity.

Which I full intend to do, starting Thursday, just in case she decides to make a pizza while I’m over. That happened last time. I feel like such a douchebag refusing to eat free pizza, so, JUST IN CASE, I’m saving the crash diet for Thursday.

What I’m probably going to do is the strength workout, rest a bit, depletion workout with lessened/eliminated volume on the body parts already hit.

WHICH REMINDS ME: I’m dropping deadlifts.

Yeah that’s right. I said it. (Please kill me.)

I just know that as soon as I deplete I’m going to be weaker than all hell and I just will not have the form necessary to feel good about myself deadlifting. Wavering deadlift performance has been the single most destructive factor to my dieting efforts, I’m sad to report. It’s my favorite life, but I just cannot be risking my back (literally) deciding between dieting and RAWR. RAWR always wins, but it’s not getting me any closer to my goals other than keeping my posture sexy.

My back is still a little sore from fucking up that ONE REP not too long ago. I was sick, granted, but that’s pretty much how glycogen depletion feels to me. Fucking sick.

Starting today, though, I’m back to legitimately recording my intake. I’ve been writing it down on paper for a long time since I’ve abandoned Windows (and by extension, FitDay) but I’ve not been tracking numbers and is really just a testament to how lax I can really be. I KNOW I’ve been eating to much, no foggy iffy memory about it. I’m fucking up, I’m not losing fat, and I’m only marginally stronger. This amounts to FAIL.

So I’ve signed up at the daily plate.

Today I don’t really care. I’m keeping myself loaded so tomorrow I can put up the biggest numbers on my three most important lifts to me (Pulldown, Incline Press, Lateral Raise) and then keep them there as I lose my artificial benefit. As much as I love carbs, this bloat is disgusting. I feel like a panda. I’m 165-170lbs. right now and I’m really hoping that a lot of that is water weight.

But I’m not retarded, either.

So I’m going to spend two days making sure I can get my calories in order, and then from Thursday on begin stripping carbs. Quicker the better, but I’m hoping by Monday of next week to be on a PSMF cycle and jogging my way to some relief from pandabelly.

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p.i.n.k Training

So I got a call a few days ago informing me of a fitting the first week of January for a fashion show in Milwaukee on the 9th.

So that means low-carb dieting for the next two weeks, and no enjoyment of Christmas meals whatsoever! Yay!

I was going to do some depletion work today, but since I only had 2 hours to workout, I essentially only had time for my usual routine. My weight is the same, but my body fat percentage mysteriously went down. I’m calling a fluke, since I’ve only started low-carbing TODAY. Yesterday I had nearly 300g.

Numbers time.

Post-workout and post-post-workout meal. I didn't even bother posing correctly.

Weight: 160lbs.
BF%: 16.2% (I check it three times…)

Deadlift

1. 200lbs. x 5 (LO)
2. 180lbs. x 5 (LU)

Fuck yes. That is all.

Lat Pulldown

1. 50lbs. x 5
2. 75lbs. x 5
3. 100lbs. x 3
4. 85lbs. x 5

I don’t feel like I activate my lats properly when I’m chinning, so I’m doing underhanded pulldowns. I’m definitely feeling my lats right now.

I didn’t load properly, though. I put the same amount as I would have offset on the chin assist, so for that reason what you’re ACTUALLY seeing is my warm-up lifts. I would be lifting 100lbs. (offset would thus be 60lbs.) on my third and final warm-up set. I knew this was going to be a lot harder than usual when I completed my first warm-up. I should have listened to myself, but part of me was thinking I was just coming off my high from making my reps in deadlift 45 seconds ago, so I carried on. (I also activated more of my mid-back on DL than I was anticipating. This scared me because I didn’t realize what was happening when I did it and it sounded like a couple ribs popped. But no pain, no injury.)

When my third warm-up set was as difficult as it was, I stopped it there, and called that my effective top-set for this workout. I moved a plate lower for a conservative deload, and got my reps there. Next workout I will see if a full rest before the 100lbs. combined with adaptations will allow me to get my reps. I’m not holding my breath though, I’ll likely be pretty depleted by the time that workout rolls around.

Horizontal Row

1. 80lbs. x 5
2. 80lbs. x 4
3. 80lbs. x 4

First set, again, felt like I wasn’t as strong as I should have been, but again I made the excuse that my previous exercise impacted me too much. This time, a little bit more of a legitimate excuse. My lats were genuinely exhausted for a change, and like I said, DL hit my mid-back for once. However, I was feeling some tightness in my shoulder, so during my rest before my second set I sauntered over to the dumbbell area and grabbed the broomstick to do some shoulder dislocations and watched the aerobics class.

Second set went much better, despite not getting all the reps. Technique felt cleaner.

Third set, no complaints, I failed on my fifth-rep attempt and slownegged it back.

Cable Crunch Nautilus Ab Thingy

3 sets of 5 @ 55lbs.

I gotta say, as far as goofy-lookin’ ab machines go, Nautilus felt like I was getting a decent range of motion on them. I don’t remember the brand-name of the one next to it, but I’d used it before, and it felt like such a stunted “I’m hurling now” jerky motion that I didn’t mind trying something new.

The reason I didn’t do cable crunches? Triceps aren’t strong enough to push down 55lbs. apparently. Oh well.

Chatted with Andy a bit following this, he seemed interested in my dieting history and the genesis of my intense interest in fitness and why I don’t already have the results I’m clearly so motivated to achieve. I felt they were honest and worthwhile questions to answer, so I did. Might write a post about it, but I’ll save it for when I’ve achieved. No sense in writing another “but this time it’s different!” until I AM different.

Plus I need to find all my fat kid pictures.

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Full-Belly Workouts

I think I should stop having a bowl of oatmeal before I workout. It’s fucking up my bodyfat readings. Not to say I’m NOT a lardass, but the meter is essentially laughing at me as hard as I was laughed at in middle school. It saddens me.

10/8/09
Deadlift – 1 x 1 @ 195lbs. (left hand under, after failing a right-under of 205lbs.)
Bench – 1 x 4 @ 95lbs.

So next workout I bump up the Deadlift and Bench stays the same.

BW: 171lbs.
Fat%: 19.3lbs. (33lbs.)

10/14/09
Squat – 1 x 5 @ 195lbs.
Press – 1 x 2 @ 70lbs. (FUCK!)
HamChin – 1 x 5 @ 55lbs. offset (114lbs lifted; since I’m the same weight I was the last time I attempted this lift, I got the final rep I wanted, yay!)

Weight: 169lbs.
Fat%: 22.8% (38.5lbs)

See, this is why I shouldn’t eat a big bowl of oats before a workout. Not only when I breathe deep do my lungs expand fully, push down my organs, and make me feel like I should shit right there in the squat rack, but it bumps my bodyfat up too! Waah! I don’t really know how to do the math for this! So I gained nearly six pounds of fat and lost… seven and a half pounds of muscle. What the fuck? /sarcasm

At any rate, I need to get my diet in order. I think I’m going to change to something a little more staggered, where the majority of my calories are eaten on training days. I know that retained water artificially inflates my bodyfat “score” but I’m not going to be doing any bizarre glyco-deplete bullshit until at least a month from now.

Invoking Katch-McArdle: 370 + (21.6 x 58.725) = 1638

Multiplied by an activity factor of 1.375 leads me to 2252 calories for daily maintenance.  Suddenly the weight gain doesn’t seem so implausible =\

Anyway, I’m going to be eating at maintenance on training days ONLY, and dropping to 30% of that on days I don’t train. As much as I hate to diet by percent, I’m going to just for the sake of daily adjustments/sanity. Fat/carbs/protein; 20/50/30.

Using today as an example: I eat as close to 2252 calories as I can without going over and with getting at least 169g protein.

Tomorrow, I’ll assume nothing has changed, and use “yesterday” values: 2252 – 30% = 1576, with 118g protein and 197g carbs.

And then Friday I go to the gym again, so I’ll re-weigh and re-measure accordingly. I’m going to try to go in without a carb meal (maybe just some eggs or a proshake or something), it won’t fully deplete me or anything but I hope to get a more accurate reading nonetheless. Then I’ll use that to calculate for that day, which will be hard to manage if I don’t get to my dad’s house for fooding up, and then for the low days following all the way to Monday.

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