Jealous Bitching

It’s all a choice.

I have no sympathy or patience for people who can’t control themselves. One way or the other. Anorexic or obese, they are both irresponsible.

It’s not even just a matter of “wanting” it enough, it’s letting yourself be motivated to act in a way reflecting that desire. Being covetous gets you nowhere. Achieve something…. See More

I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. It’s nothing monumental to let it go “too far” and make it appear that you have a problem to people who don’t have the same motivation.

Obsessed is a word lazy people use to describe the motivated.

I wrote that for a friend on Facebook who mentioned something about anorexia. Watched something on TV about it I guess. She doesn’t seem like she’s anywhere near considering it for herself, but, it’s an issue I’m fairly familiar with and experienced in dealing with it. Not just myself either.

I’ve been involved in a number of pro-ana communities over the years. Do I advocate “picking it up” as a means to lose weight to impress people? No. Not at all. I support people who have already made the decision on their own. There are people out there who are going to do what they are going to do regardless of how good of a hypnotistical brainscrubber you trot yourself to be.

I’m there for THEM.

Anybody willing to effort a change in themselves, to set their goals and do their damn-best-they-can to achieve them is someone I’ll support. I don’t care if there are oodles of established medical records espousing their methods as dangerous or unhealthy. If safe and healthy were a part of their goal, it would be built into their method.

Like it is with mine.

But I won’t villainize anyone for doing differently. There are folks out there losing weight doing their six meals a day, people out there starving themselves, people out there on the treadmill or in the swimming pool all day long running themselves into shallow graves. Bless them all. Fucking dedicated.

And all anyone else does is bitch.

Jealous?

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No Excuse (P1C1WA2)

Week got off to a bit of a crap start.

Sometime over the weekend I had a seizure at my grandmother’s house. Banged up my right elbow, left hand, and both feet (more on the left foot, the right foot just has a cracked nail on the big toe.) It happened the day after training deadlifts, which summed itself as a fried CNS. Limping around, wincing… butthurt doesn’t even begin to cover it.

I wasn’t very motivated to lift on Tuesday, but I had the seizure and the binge working against my morale. So I used those things as encouragement. The unwillingness to let myself be put down by something I have only a limited amount of control over, coupled with the guilt over having let myself gorge so atrociously, lead me into the gym that morning.

Workout A2, June 1, 2010

Incline Bench

1. 45lbs x 3
2. 60 x 2
3. 75 x 8
4. 75 x 8 (too much shoulders)

I kind of forgot that I was supposed to deload on the second work set. Oops. I guess I can be confident in my increase for next workout!

Wide-Grip Horizontal Press

1. 35lbs x 5
2. 50 x 3
3. 65 x 2
4. 85 x 8

Hammer-Grip Horizontal Press

1. 40lbs x 3
2. 50 x 2
3. 65 x 8

Pushdown

1. 27.5lbs x 5
2. 32.5 x 2
3. 37.5 x 12

At this point, I was feeling really fucking accomplished. My chest was the only part of me that WASN’T sore, so getting that little extra from my triceps made me pretty happy overall.

Pulldown

1. 45lbs x 5
2. 65 x 3
3. 85 x 2
4. 110 x 6

I lost a rep. Not cool.

Alternating: Forearm Curl / Reverse Forearm Curl

1. 3lbs / 3lbs x 8
2. 5 / 5 x 8
3. 8 / 8 x 8
4. 12 / 12 x 8
5. 15 x 8 / 15 x 3
6. 20 / 12 x 8 (though I got the reps, 20lbs just felt like too much)
7. 15 / 12 x 8

I’ve just been looking in the mirror and getting sick of the ‘funnel’ look of my growing upper arms and my ain’t-shit forearms. Fixing that with a little volume work, as I don’t want to fail them with high-intensity stuff. I need the grip stamina for pulls.

Cardio: I did 20 minutes at level 2 on a recumbent bike just to… I dunno. Burn something or other. I was thinking carbs when I decided to do it, but after intense lifting I have no idea if there were some free-floating fatty acids to be used, floating about, or what.

Condition: C.

Didn’t get enough sleep, felt bloated. Pretty standard. Feeling sorry for myself counterbalanced by FUCK IT.

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I Am The Master of My Fate

Saw Invictus last night; been feeling pretty motivated overall.

Not that it helped the fact that I lost some muscle over the holidays. Evening workout on the wrong day didn’t really help matters, either.

And I was called back for an interview with p.i.n.k tomorrow. Go figure right?

Onto the numbers:

Weight: 156lbs.
BF%: 18.8%

No excuses today. Just going to take it for what it is. I’ve got roughly six pounds of fat I want to lose before the easy part of the diet is over.

Flat Bench

1. 45lbs. x 5
2. 50lbs. x 5
3. 70lbs. x 3
4. 100lbs. x 1
5. 95lbs. x 3
6. 100lbs. x 1

I had to sneeze; still didn’t get my reps though.

Incline Bench

1. 85lbs. x 4 (seat was too high, did the set anyway)
2. 75lbs. x 5 (three holes = good)

Skipped incline fly today. Had some upper-depletion work I wanted to get in, and I wasn’t budging the 25 DBs tonight.

Round 1

1. Row: 10 & 2 @ 55lbs., 15 @ 40lbs.
2. DB Curl: 2 x 15 @ 5lbs.
3. Cable Extension: 15 & 11 @ 7.5lbs.
4. Lateral Raise: 3 x 15 @ 5lbs.
5. Crunch Machine: 3 x 15 @ 40lbs.

Round 2

1. Row: 3 x15 @ 40lbs.
2. Crunch Machine: 1 x 15 @ 40lbs.

Cut short because mom was picking me up; she was visiting my cousin who had flown in from Cali to celebrate the holidays. I’ll see her this summer. Can’t be missing workouts!

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

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