Deceptive Backfire (P2C3A1)

So, drying out for every single progress pic? Not going to happen.

I fumbled my depletion attempt horribly. Though I’m sure a lot of the weight I put on was water and food in the belly, I can’t help but be bothered by the fact that I still WEIGH less and my body fat percentage went up. It feels like I dropped all the water out of my muscles, and my fat was carb-and-water loaded. The fat I do have is waaay more jiggly than it ordinarily would be so I know I’m holding onto water, and I know I’m not going to drop it by tomorrow for a proper reading. If I’m going to do a diet-only depletion I’ll have to save the reload for after the reading.

It’s just really frustrating. I should have just kept going along as I had been and not done anything differently to manipulate for a ‘better’ reading. That shit should be saved for the end, haha!

But, excuses don’t change the numbers. I’m just going to roll with what I’ve got and accept it as truth even though in the back of my mind I know it’s a little off.

(Being depleted made this workout hell. My BRAIN felt hot, some kind of weird fever or allergies [I don't actually know if I have allergies yet] made focusing really difficult. I still made some decent progress.)

Workout A1 for Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Bench Press

1. 45lbs x 5
2. 65 x 3 (brain is REALLY not working, should have loaded 55)
3. 75 x 2
4. 95 x 4
5. 90 x 5

That second warm-up set really threw me but I pushed on anyway. I probably could have only gotten one more rep on each working set if I had ramped properly, which still wouldn’t have put me in the range range that calls for an increase. Kind of off-putting because I wanted to start benching triple digits finally, but, oh well. It was difficult so I’m not going to add five pounds and wind up with a single where I wretch my neck or something trying to get it off my chest.

I’m trying to get in the habit of pausing longer at the bottom.

I actually didn’t try for a specific amount of reps on the drop-set but I was very slightly amused by the fact that it wound up as +1 anyway.

Incline Bench

1. 50lbs x 3
2. 65 x 2
3. 85 x 6

I really dig doing less warm-ups for things that are probably warmed-up a bit anyhow. I do the two warm-up sets that I do just to get in the groove of the motion. I’ll probably wind up adding more warm-up sets as I lift heavier weight but, for now, it’s good.

Oh, and I made the rep range. Increase!

Hammer-Grip Horizontal Press

1. 55lbs x 3
2. 75 x 2
3. 95 x 6

This is starting to feel weird on my thumbs. I may be moving to free-weight close-grip benching soon after all. I made reps, though, so increasing for next workout.

Pushdown

1. 37.5lbs x 3
2. 42.5 x 2
3. 47.5 x 4

Haha, not even close to the range here. Looks like the lessened warm-ups doesn’t ALWAYS save me :)

Pulldown

1. 45lbs x 5
2. 75 x 3
3. 95 x 2
4. 120 x 2

I’m going to have to change this to pull-ups, I think! This is starting to pull me out of the chair. Not expecting that to happen threw off my set, so I let it go.

Next time I’ll be doing the pull-up assist machine, offsetting whatever to simulate 120lbs.

Crunch Machine

1. 45lbs x 3
2. 65 x 2
3. 40 x 35 (contest!)
4. 80 x 5
5. 85 x 5

I was going to skip this because the rest of my workout went so horribly. Then I decided to do them BECAUSE of that.

There was this girl there (Suzie) with her friend, their first day at the gym, apparently here seeking the magic of spot reduction. She stole the machine I was using and asked me to help her with her form.

Sigh.

Eventually this led to her realizing there’s another, identical machine directly next to the one I was using. I had just left the machine (I leave my notebook on the machine though) for a drink of water, so, yeah, that’s pretty typical. Anyway, she wanted to do a contest with me to see how many crunches we could do at 40lbs. I agreed, and just kept crunching until she failed-out at 30. Then I did five more. Then I rested for about five minutes because BURNING.

In all, I did way too many crunches.

Body Weight: 159.5lbs

Body Fat Percentage: 16.6%

I didn’t even bother with pictures. I should just be happy with minor progress from week-to-week rather than trying for monthly milestones.

I was going to continue dieting if my bodyfat was above 13%, but I think I might have done something screwy to my metabolism. I’m going to be a little more lenient with my calorie intake (meaning more) and I’m going to TRY to adhere to a 16-8 fasting-feeding window ala LeanGains rather than the 24-hours-when-convenient of Eat Stop Eat.

ESE is great and I love it, but I feel like I’m eating too much when I do eat, which mandates more fasting, which… runs ideologically against the selling point of flexbility of ESE. ESE seems like something I’ll be using once I’m at the weight I want to be at, and looking to maintain. There are days where “I ate more than I should” is a gross understatement, and I think twice-weekly 24 hour fasts should be able to cover it while eating whenever I want will cover the inevitable social prestige of looking awesome. Snort.

Plus, if I’m fasting more, hopefully that will encourage me to consume more protein. It’s definitely been lacking.

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New Notebook (P1C2A2)

Just cracked open a fresh multi-subject cheapshit notebook.

First page got this workout loaded onto it. Hooray!

Workout A2 for Monday, June 14th, 2010

Incline Bench

1. 45lbs x 3
2. 65 x 2
3. 80 x 8
4. 70 x 9

I was really happy about this lift. No doubt increasing it next workout. Kind of annoyed by the EZ-deadlifter indirectly giving me shit about my form. You know why the bar drops into the pins when I’ve completed my reps? That’s called muscular failure. Try it some time.

Maybe with those deadlifts, sweet-cheeks.

Wide-grip Horizontal Press Machine

1. 35lbs x 5
2. 55 x 3
3. 70 x 2
4. 90 x 1

I made the horrible discovery that the BACK of the machine can be adjusted to augment the stretch of the starting position (basically mimicking how far your elbows would go below a bench in the real lift.) Seat back to 4 was optimal. But, given that I hadn’t been training full-range up until this point, I’m actually quite pleased with the eeked-out single at the raised working weight. Going to keep it here.

Hammer-grip Horizontal Press Machine

1. 55lbs x 4
2. 75 x 2
3. 95 x 4

Phooey. Two reps short. Surprising, though, given that this is the same machine as above and the seat is adjusted. Maybe it’s to the benefit of my triceps while at the detriment of my pecs. I dunno. I’m probably not even doing these right. I’m suspecting the wide-grip is nailing my triceps and hammer-grip is recruiting anterior delts or something.

Pushdown

1. 32.5lbs x 3
2. 37.5 x 2
3. 42.5 x 11

FUCK YES! I really wanted to get at least ten with this movement. At these weights my abs are contributing like crazy to keep myself upright (rather than trying to crunch the weight down.) I noted last workout that I was going to drop the 5-rep warm-up to three reps and this apparently has helped. I know that my triceps are all but warmed-up by now anyway. Those two warm-up sets are more of a nervous wake-up than a muscular warm-up.

Pulldown

1. 45lbs x 5
2. 75 x 3
3. 95 x 2
4. 120 x 5

Shit. One short of being able to increase again. I really felt like I used too much biceps in this, even though I’m feeling it today and I had at least enough linkage to flex my right lat (vanity posing waiting for towel to dry, heh.) My leftie still doesn’t want to cooperate. I think I’m going to try to, next workout, not only get that next rep but BEGIN the movement with the lats and throw in dedicated bicep involvement when I can’t lower the bar further to just under my chin.

This workout took about an hour and a half. I was intending to do cardio but since I’m not going to get my full allotment of rest days and because I just felt catabolic generally, I decided to pass on it.

Body Weight: 164lbs

Condition: B-. Felt stringy/flabby at the same time. Morale was good, and just mentally ‘ready’ to kick some ass and WORK.

Stalling on more than half of my lifts makes me think I might need to bump protein in future cycles. This one is going to be a little weird though with training frequency (essentially trying to reconfigure my schedule to account for a root canal next Wednesday) so I’m bumping up calories to hopefully compensate for the relatively little rest. Luckily this Wednesday’s workout is the lightest in the cycle and I should be recovered for the next cycle by Monday.

…You know, having done the majority of my refeed today already I realize it’s feasible for me to work out on Thursday rather than tomorrow if I’m willing to wait longer for a ride home. Well. Neat. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow morning.

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Progress Excites Me (P1C2WA1)

I just realized I started my second workout cycle yesterday. Awwriiight~

It was a highly unexpected result, my measures, as I still feel like I’m vastly overeating. I’m still recording on paper when and how much of whatever I’m eating, but I’m not tracking the calories on The Daily Plate.

I’m not as anal about how much I’m eating as I used to be. Granted, it has to be less than enough, but what I’m doing now can be best-described as eating until I’m full once a day. If I mysteriously put on weight, I can easily backtrack into my records and tabulate the calories. If the numbers make sense, then I know I ate too much and I’ll have to back off. If they don’t quite, or there’s a lot of carbs in there, well! Water weight.

I’m slowly introducing a little more cardio, here-and-there. I don’t really have a set plan with it. I’m tentatively looking at days that I do yohimbine (fasted-cardio style), or post-workout. Something about fat being released into the bloodstream from the Y or the high-intensity activity, that makes me want to include cardio at those times. More on this in another post. I haven’t been as tenacious in my physiological studies as I used to be.

Saturday Cardio

1. 6:45AM: 15mg Yohimbine HCL + 200mg Caffeine (since I haven’t been posting on this as much, in the future this will be referred to as YC much like the ephedrine+caffeine stack is referred to as EC.)
2. 7:23AM: Slow warm-up. Easy-walking for about 12 minutes.
3. 7:35AM: Speed walking. Just walking quickly enough for it to be uncomfortable, for about 40 minutes.
4. 8:15AM: I didn’t plan my route, so when time was up I had to walk back home. Another 12 minutes.

Something I noted was that I had a really high blood sugar. I should have tested much, much earlier (on the order of around midnight, I’d say) but since I had only just realized it a couple of minutes after taking my YC, I just tested right then, at 380mg/dL. Insulin counteracts the effects of yohimbine, so I just went and did my cardio anyway.

A few minutes after I got home (around 8:30AM) I tested again at 292mg/dL. Still really high, but an 88-point drop is pretty significant. I don’t know if that would have worked from 188 to 100 (I don’t know why it wouldn’t but I’m not going to make that claim), but I think doing cardio with an untested threshold made the higher level of sugar a decent “safety net” though I wouldn’t ordinarily like to be anywhere near that high.

Workout for Sunday, June 6, 2010

Before leaving for the gym: EC1 @ 9:45AM

Bench Press

1. 45lbs. x 5
2. 50 x 3
3. 70 x 2
4. 90 x 7 (felt 50/50 on making the 8th rep; I decided not to risk it.)
5. 85 x 9

I’m going to increase this next workout.

Incline Press Machine

1. 45lbs. x 5
2. 75 x 3
3. 90 x 2
4. 120 x 4

Okay. Screw this machine. I can’t find a suitable place to set the lever (it’s either too-high to be useful or too low to not be damaging to my shoulders) so I’ll be moving back to the free-weight version.

Hammer-grip Horizontal Press Machine

1. 55lbs. x 3
2. 70 x 2
3. 90 x 8

Shoulders are bugging me now.

Pushdown

1. 32.5lbs. x 5
2. 37.5 x 2
3. 42.5 x 9

I cheated a tenth rep so I’m not counting it, making this fall below my desired range for increase. Next workout I’m dropping the first warm-up set to 3 reps, but keeping everything else. If I make 10 reps on A2 then I can increase the weight.

Pulldown

1. 45lbs. x 5
2. 70 x 3
3. 90 x 2
4. 115 x 6

I very nearly almost skipped doing these. I was hearing all sorts of excuses in my head during the tricep exercises. I switched on autopilot and let the excuses fly, hammering out possibly the best-form round of pulldowns I’ve ever done in my life. FUCK YEAH. Increasing the weight next workout.

Weighted Crunch Machine

1. 30lbs. x 5
2. 45 x 3
3. 60 x 2
4. 75 x 5

This isn’t, probably, going to be a regular exercise, but I thought in an effort to combat staleness in my routine I’d stick in a ‘reward’ exercise at the end. I chose crunches over calf raises because I’ve got something nasty happening on my left big toe joint and I’d like to establish that it’s not an infection before I harass it much more than I have.

Body Weight: 160.5lbs

Body Fat Percentage: 13.7% ~ I totally didn’t believe a lick of this, though before I saw it I mistook my BMI for my bodyfat percentage and had a mini-heart attack (23.7!?) I redid this reading multiple times and 13.7 was the first one to show up three times so I took it down. It was also the second-highest in the range (13.8 beat it) so it panders to my inner-pessimist.

Condition: B. ~ I very BARELY made it to the gym today. Had to roll off the couch and run down the parking lot in my underwear to make the ride to the gym, but I DID. So, yeah. I’m probably disproportionately proud of myself for having done that. Screw it.

Time in: 10AM
Time out: 12:35PM

I finished the workout at 12:20 but I sat in the locker room debating cardio for 15 minutes before I decided to leave and, if I started to regret it later… just do it later!

So I Regretted It and Came Back and This Is Treadmill

1. 1:42PM: EC2
2. 2:23PM: back in the gym. Warm-Up: 10 minutes at 2 incline/2mph. Heart Rate 102bpm
3. 2:35PM: HIIT: 5.5 minutes. Started and stopped with jog @ 4.5mph for 1.5min; run @ 6mph for 30sec. Incline set to 3 for both. Heart Rate 178bpm
4. 2:41PM: Rest. Talked to DJ in the locker room about cutting. He’s bulking, but cut for beach season.
5. 2:53PM: Steady State: 40 minutes at 3 incline/3mph. Heart Rate 135bpm
6. 3:35PM: Done.

I cut the HIIT short because I just am not fit enough for it. I was sweating and wheezing and my legs felt like they were going to fail out on me at any moment. (I wanted to total 10 minutes.)

So, then, while doing the steady state stuff I kept trying to convince myself to stop. But there weren’t any physical signs of needing to stop early, and any excuse I could come up with was quite easily squashed with “you’re not going to be burning any more fat than you are right now.”

But man, when 40 hit the clock I was off.

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No Excuse (P1C1WA2)

Week got off to a bit of a crap start.

Sometime over the weekend I had a seizure at my grandmother’s house. Banged up my right elbow, left hand, and both feet (more on the left foot, the right foot just has a cracked nail on the big toe.) It happened the day after training deadlifts, which summed itself as a fried CNS. Limping around, wincing… butthurt doesn’t even begin to cover it.

I wasn’t very motivated to lift on Tuesday, but I had the seizure and the binge working against my morale. So I used those things as encouragement. The unwillingness to let myself be put down by something I have only a limited amount of control over, coupled with the guilt over having let myself gorge so atrociously, lead me into the gym that morning.

Workout A2, June 1, 2010

Incline Bench

1. 45lbs x 3
2. 60 x 2
3. 75 x 8
4. 75 x 8 (too much shoulders)

I kind of forgot that I was supposed to deload on the second work set. Oops. I guess I can be confident in my increase for next workout!

Wide-Grip Horizontal Press

1. 35lbs x 5
2. 50 x 3
3. 65 x 2
4. 85 x 8

Hammer-Grip Horizontal Press

1. 40lbs x 3
2. 50 x 2
3. 65 x 8

Pushdown

1. 27.5lbs x 5
2. 32.5 x 2
3. 37.5 x 12

At this point, I was feeling really fucking accomplished. My chest was the only part of me that WASN’T sore, so getting that little extra from my triceps made me pretty happy overall.

Pulldown

1. 45lbs x 5
2. 65 x 3
3. 85 x 2
4. 110 x 6

I lost a rep. Not cool.

Alternating: Forearm Curl / Reverse Forearm Curl

1. 3lbs / 3lbs x 8
2. 5 / 5 x 8
3. 8 / 8 x 8
4. 12 / 12 x 8
5. 15 x 8 / 15 x 3
6. 20 / 12 x 8 (though I got the reps, 20lbs just felt like too much)
7. 15 / 12 x 8

I’ve just been looking in the mirror and getting sick of the ‘funnel’ look of my growing upper arms and my ain’t-shit forearms. Fixing that with a little volume work, as I don’t want to fail them with high-intensity stuff. I need the grip stamina for pulls.

Cardio: I did 20 minutes at level 2 on a recumbent bike just to… I dunno. Burn something or other. I was thinking carbs when I decided to do it, but after intense lifting I have no idea if there were some free-floating fatty acids to be used, floating about, or what.

Condition: C.

Didn’t get enough sleep, felt bloated. Pretty standard. Feeling sorry for myself counterbalanced by FUCK IT.

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Berkhan Workout A2

Workout for May 5th, 2010

Incline Bench 8RM

1. 45lbs. x 8
2. 55 x 8
3. 60 x 8
4. 65 x 8
5. 70 x 8
6. 75 x 2 (got nauseous, stopped, didn’t muscularly fail though)
7. 60 x 10 (drop set; dropped from the last completed 8-rep set)

Wide-Grip Chest Press Machine, 8RM

1. 30lbs. x 8
2. 45 x 8
3. 65 x 8
4. 80 x 8 (nearly vomited again, blehh)

Rested for about 10 minutes after this. Resumed workout at 10:05AM

Horizontal-Grip Chest Press Machine

1. 45lbs. x 5
2. 55 x 2
3. 60 x 8

Since this exercise was consecutive with A1 (as is the rest of the routine) I was able to precalcudict some warm-up sets and a slightly-bumped top set. This one will be bumped for my next workout.

Triceps Pushdown

1. 22.5lbs. x 5
2. 27.5 x 2
3. 32.5 x 12

This exercise will be bumped.

Pulldown

1. 40lbs. x 5
2. 60 x 3
3. 80 x 2
4. 105 x 10 (failed!)

I never actually determined the threshold for pulldowns on the A workouts, since I substituted chins with pulldowns. I think a 8-12 rep range would be appropriate, as the two B-workouts have 4-6 and 6-8 rep ranges. So, this exercise will be bumped!

Body Weight: 161lbs.
Body Fat Percentage: 15.6%

Condition: C+

Again, didn’t sleep well the night before. But I had slept a lot during the day so this was not too surprising. Had a protein bar 60 and my EC stack 30 minutes prior the workout. I just felt ‘ready’ to.

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Regression Depression

Today was Chest Day.

My lifts regressed here as well. I didn’t feel weaker, necessarily, but I wasn’t capable of generating the intensity on a mental level. I’m considering altering my routine to include more machines to have less mental toll derived from form. I don’t really like the way that sounds from a macho standpoint, but it’s going to be kicked around the brainstorm notebook over the weekend and we’ll see where I come out on Monday or Tuesday.

Scheduling-wise, however, this workout played out beautifully. I woke up around 7AM, had two protein bars. I think fasting so much before workouts is what is causing this lull in vigor. My original intent to never fast on workout days was probably the better idea, and the test-fast workouts for me will be seen as workable-in-emergency in the future, but not as something to carry repeatedly long-term.

Got into the gym around 9AM. I don’t know how she does it, but the girlfriend always manages to wake up and text me on my second warm-up set. I’m pretty sure it’s not the same days or times or anything either. Flat Bench warm-ups go fine and I load up my top set. I’m not expecting magic here, though I’ve optimistically penciled in a goal of three reps. I barely manage one rep.

I deload, rest, and again manage only one rep. Now I know something is up, so I empty the bar and go over to the machine chest press. I do three sets here and I’m fried. I rest, manage to move nothing on the incline press machine (making me relieved I didn’t try free weight version) and move over to the dumbbells.

I can’t extend the 20lbs. for flys, so I grab 15 and slow-go three sets of 5. At least, even though I stepped back, I made all three sets all the way through, which is what I have to do before I increase weight with this specific exercise. So I’ll be back on 20s next week.

I shouldn’t have skipped workouts over Thanksgiving.

My quads were itching for some attention, so I tried the StairMaster for the first time. 11 minutes at level 5, burning apparently 100 calories. I didn’t really do this for any other reason than to shut up my quads and put myself back into a positive mood.

Which it did! Post-workout meal at a decent restaurant with my dad afterward. Shrimp and pasta. Yum.

The embarrassing numbers:

Flat Bench

1. 100lbs. x 1
2. 90lbs. x 1

Horizontal Chest Press (I cringed typing this)

1. 100lbs. x 1
2. 90lbs. x 3
3. 80lbs. x 5

Incline Chest Press

1. 75lbs. x lol
2. 65lbs. x wtf
3. 55lbs x gtfo
4. 50lbs x nvm

Incline Fly
3×5 @ 15lbs.

StairMaster: 11 minutes @ level 5

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Full-Belly Workouts

I think I should stop having a bowl of oatmeal before I workout. It’s fucking up my bodyfat readings. Not to say I’m NOT a lardass, but the meter is essentially laughing at me as hard as I was laughed at in middle school. It saddens me.

10/8/09
Deadlift – 1 x 1 @ 195lbs. (left hand under, after failing a right-under of 205lbs.)
Bench – 1 x 4 @ 95lbs.

So next workout I bump up the Deadlift and Bench stays the same.

BW: 171lbs.
Fat%: 19.3lbs. (33lbs.)

10/14/09
Squat – 1 x 5 @ 195lbs.
Press – 1 x 2 @ 70lbs. (FUCK!)
HamChin – 1 x 5 @ 55lbs. offset (114lbs lifted; since I’m the same weight I was the last time I attempted this lift, I got the final rep I wanted, yay!)

Weight: 169lbs.
Fat%: 22.8% (38.5lbs)

See, this is why I shouldn’t eat a big bowl of oats before a workout. Not only when I breathe deep do my lungs expand fully, push down my organs, and make me feel like I should shit right there in the squat rack, but it bumps my bodyfat up too! Waah! I don’t really know how to do the math for this! So I gained nearly six pounds of fat and lost… seven and a half pounds of muscle. What the fuck? /sarcasm

At any rate, I need to get my diet in order. I think I’m going to change to something a little more staggered, where the majority of my calories are eaten on training days. I know that retained water artificially inflates my bodyfat “score” but I’m not going to be doing any bizarre glyco-deplete bullshit until at least a month from now.

Invoking Katch-McArdle: 370 + (21.6 x 58.725) = 1638

Multiplied by an activity factor of 1.375 leads me to 2252 calories for daily maintenance.  Suddenly the weight gain doesn’t seem so implausible =\

Anyway, I’m going to be eating at maintenance on training days ONLY, and dropping to 30% of that on days I don’t train. As much as I hate to diet by percent, I’m going to just for the sake of daily adjustments/sanity. Fat/carbs/protein; 20/50/30.

Using today as an example: I eat as close to 2252 calories as I can without going over and with getting at least 169g protein.

Tomorrow, I’ll assume nothing has changed, and use “yesterday” values: 2252 – 30% = 1576, with 118g protein and 197g carbs.

And then Friday I go to the gym again, so I’ll re-weigh and re-measure accordingly. I’m going to try to go in without a carb meal (maybe just some eggs or a proshake or something), it won’t fully deplete me or anything but I hope to get a more accurate reading nonetheless. Then I’ll use that to calculate for that day, which will be hard to manage if I don’t get to my dad’s house for fooding up, and then for the low days following all the way to Monday.

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Training Update

I’ve been forgetting to update the blog, but I haven’t been forgetting to workout. Because I’m not gay.

9/25/09
Squat: 1 x 3 @ 170lbs.
Press 1 x 5 @ 65lbs.
HamChin: 1 x 5 @ 60lbs. offset (I don’t know how much I weighed this day, scale was DISAPPEAR)

10/2/09 – First Workout @ L.A. Fitness
Squat: 3 x 5 @ 185lbs. (almost failed the very last rep, BUT I DIDN’T)
Bench: 2 x 5 @ 80lbs. (also did 1×1@85, before these two sets)
Deadlift: 3 x 1 @ 185lbs. (need chalk, need big socks, form, etc.)

Weight: 168lbs.
Bodyfat: 17.4%

10/6/09
Squat: 1 x 4 @ 195lbs. (failed my 5th rep, looks like another week until 200, FUCK!)
Press: 1 x 2 @ 70lbs. (this exercise: I really miss having a mirror to check form it; felt like my abs were cleaning my pelvis)
HamChin: 1 x 4 @ 55lbs. offset (I almost want to count the 5th rep, I just SO SLIGHTLY missed it, but again: Not a faggot.)

Weight: 169lbs.
Bodyfat: 20.1% – disregarded; carb-loaded

HIGHLIGHTS

Gym Salesman “This is the squat machine–”
Me “Machine? No.”
GS “I know you said you don’t like machines, but in case you injure yourself–”
Me “I’ll wait on it and go back to the rack when I’m healed.”
GS “Okay, but when you squat, it puts pressure on your knees?”
Me “…Yes. [suspicious]”
GS “Right, when you squat down and your knee goes past your foot, you put tremendous pressure on your knee. This machine allows you to squat without that pressure, so you can keep squatting when your knees are sore.”
Me “I just squat with proper form and avoid this issue entirely.”

GS “So today’s Friday and you’re doing squats, so you probably aren’t benching today, but here are where the benches ARE.”
Me “So I see… what makes you think I’m not benching today?” (refer to my workout schedule above)
GS “A lot of people have their ‘chest day’ on Monday.”
Me “Oh, right. I forgot about that…”
GS “When’s your chest day?”
Me “The day I work my chest.”
GS “…”

So next to me, this black curlmonkey starts doing his barbell curls in the other squat rack. Fine, whatever, I only need one squat rack until I’m superhuman so I just rest it up while I watch him do push-curls (like a push press, only with curling… that uh.. sort of… “put your hips and back and drop your head into your shoulder blades like you’re about to cum” way of curling.) I look at his notebook and notice that this Friday, Mr. Monkey is hitting his biceps from all angles.

Monkey “You gots a notebook too?”
Me “A-yup.”
Monkey “Dats cool bro, you gotta keep track yo shit.”
Me “Shore do.”
Monkey “I do so many sometimes I fergit.”
Me “So many what?”
Monkey “Uh [checks notebook] …curls.”

Golden.

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Lifting Goals, Phase One

Going to briefly recount Wednesday’s workout, and then gloss over the first stage of lifting goals that I have.

• Squat: 3×5 @ 150lbs.
• Press: 3×5 @ 55lbs.
• HamGrip ChinAss: 3×5 @ 90lbs. offset (80lbs. lifted)

So, if you couldn’t deduce, I weighed 170lbs. on Wednesday. I did not bother testing body comp.

My lamer beginner goals are as follows:

• Press: 110lbs.
• Bench Press: 165lbs.
• Squat: 220lbs.
• Deadlift: 275lbs.

I should be there in like four months right? Yeah!

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